Spiritual Coffee: Truth Doesn't Divide, Unbelief Does - Helping Women Cherish Being a Weaker Vessel - Novels for a Christian Mind

Here's the best of what I've seen recently for building up your mind in Christ and refreshing your heart. Prior roundups are under Spiritual Coffee.

Division Begins with the Departure from the Truth, Jared C. Wilson (For the Church)

Most of us in the Church have been battered and browbeaten with the modern myth that anyone who insists upon something as true is divisive and disruptive. When a person wants to go their own way, those of us who try to call them back are labeled judgmental and closed-minded. Wilson does a very concise and clear job of demonstrating that it is actually the person who has chosen to depart from what we shared as a belief who is being stubborn and closed-minded. Most orthodox creeds and statements of doctrine were created in response to someone abandoning truth for what is deceptive and misleading. They were reactions to the stubbornness of error and rebellion. This is a welcome reset of our perspective, reminding us we don't cause division and conflict just by remaining true to what we believe.

Fragile, Honored, Undaunted: Women as the Weaker Vessel, Abigail Dodds (Desiring God)

"Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." (1 Peter 3:7).

This verse provokes so many emotional reactions from both men and women. In our age, obsessed with independence and autonomy, the idea of being weak carries with it the implication that you aren't able to assert yourself independently and be free of social stereotypes imposed on you by tradition and culture. No one wants to be weak. I know women struggle over understanding this comparison between men and women, and I know men who struggle with wanting to explain it away out of sympathy and support. Yet it's a teaching of the Bible, and that means that there is something good for us here that we shouldn't miss. We hide from it or dismiss it at our peril, because every time people try to ignore or defy what God has designed and force things into roles and shapes they weren't meant to have, tragedy follows.

Abigail paints a beautiful portrait of the strength and preciousness that coexist with fragility and weakness, illustrating that being weaker does not mean inferior or less capable. The excerpts below speak for themselves - and have a lot to say to both men and women. Although I'm not a woman, I've been married to one for 16 years and I am very familiar with how she has pondered and wrestled through verses like this. She commended this post as among the most helpful things she has read on this verse, and I am grateful to have words like this with which to encourage her. 

"It helps to first acknowledge that what God says through Peter is true. We are weaker, or we could use the synonym fragile. Not stupider. Not less human. Not incapable of reason or achievement. Not emotionally broken. Not more sinful. And not even without great strength, as the Scriptures testify. But weaker. And yet many of us are, or have been at some point, uncomfortable with this because it’s inimical to the spirit of the age and it feels like an offense to our pride. So much so that we may stubbornly spurn 1 Peter’s verity, even as we take every precaution when walking alone in a dark alley.

"Our weakness — the fact that no matter how much time I spent in the gym, I’d likely never be able to overpower an average-sized man or beat him in an arm-wrestling match — is not a sign of something gone wrong. It is to be handled with care, because in it resides exquisite beauties, abilities, and feminine strengths — like the beautiful strength of thick beveled glass."

12 Recent Novels for your Summer Pleasure, Byron Borger (Hearts and Minds Books)

I include this because it is a great joy to discover fiction that brings truth to life with creativity and wisdom, and also because Byron Borger is a voice you should know if you love books. He reviews them often on his Booknotes blog, and his depth of knowledge is astounding. If you're looking for a guide to uncharted wonders and rare jewels in Christian literature and non-fiction, this is your guy. This is the kind of bookstore you wish you could go around the corner to every week. (The one that particularly intrigued me from this list of novels is the sixth one, This Is Why I Came.)

Every year, Byron and his wife Beth put together a remarkable portable bookstore for the Christian Legal Society National Conference, filling a gallery with hundreds of handpicked selections in every imaginable category a Christian may want. Take one look at the organization and care in arranging a room that size with so many useful titles, and you'll know why their experience and knowledge of books is so valuable.

Spiritual Coffee: When One Spouse Leaves the Church - Keeping a Tender Heart Toward the Hard-Hearted - Understanding Little Sisters of the Poor

Today’s three links to the best things I've come across in the past few days to feed a Christian mind and heart. Click on Spiritual Coffee for prior roundups to sharpen and equip your Christian thinking.

Blessed Are the Agnostics, Stina Kielsmeier-Cook (her•meneutics, Christianity Today)

Her husband gave up on the church; she stayed. Too often we act like we don’t see people struggling through things like this because we don’t know what to say or do. Listen to how she wrestled with her doubts, her husband’s soul, divided worldviews in parenting, and what she needs from the church. Candid and earnest. These are people we need to listen to and learn to welcome.

Not Hardening Our Hearts Against the Hard-Hearted, David Schrock (davidschrock.com)

Insightful and helpful reflections for understanding the blindness and self-deception in friends and church members who are caught up in sin. How to seek their hearts while guarding your own against becoming jaded or discouraged.

n.b. The quote from 2 Timothy 2:22-25 seems to be missing from the end, right before the prayer in italics. But it’s a perfect complement to the post, so read it alongside.

"When they harden themselves against us, we must pray. In love, our response must not be passivity but wise, repeated strategic appeals to that member of Christ’s body. Matthew 18 is not a quick pitstop that enables churches to get rid of unwanted sinners; it is a long, arduous pathway to restore those who have been and are being deceived by sin."

"Sin is irrational and causes the sinner to make statements and take actions that are mystifying. These words and actions are not “out of character,” as many like to put it. They are tragically “in character,” as indwelling sin comes to the surface. Hebrews 3 reminds us, every believer has blindspots and chambers in their heart which, when released, exude poison.""Often these well-versed believers will make these steps quoting Scripture on their way. We are a twisted bunch and none of us are immune from deception."

"Left unchecked, sin will always go further than we first intended."

"Sin is not innocent or accidental, it is the self-willed desire to go our own way and to persist on the road to destruction. Immediately, hardness of heart—anger in speech, isolation in action, unwillingness to listen, self-justification, and personal advocacy—occur. And more than occur, they increase. Like yeast, sin leavens the whole heart. And thus it needs to be opposed—both internally by the Spirit-filled individual but also externally by the church, when that individual is a beloved member of the church."

Little Sisters of the Poor – Thoughts on the Decision in the Contraception Mandate Case, Mark Movsesian (First Things)

Christians should understand the United States Supreme Court's decision in Zubik v. Burwell, the case involving Little Sisters of the Poor and the HHS Mandate that would have forced them to pay for contraceptives against their religious beliefs. This is a good summary. Some overall high points (from several sources):

• The Little Sisters asked to be exempt from being required to pay for health care plans that would include providing contraceptives to people, because their religious beliefs prohibit using contraception (additionally, many forms of contraception can act as abortifacients that can trigger rejection of a live embryo by the body after conception).
• The Department of Health and Human Services ("HHS") mandated under the Affordable Care Act (commonly called Obamacare) that the Sisters must pay for the plans and ensure free contraception. No religious exemption was granted.
• The decision did not settle what kind of accommodation the Little Sisters should receive, but it is nevertheless basically a win for two reasons: 1) the Supreme Court did not say the Sisters can't have an exemption for religious beliefs, but actually sent the case back to the district court with instructions to have the Obama Administration find an accommodation that would fit the Sisters beliefs - which means the Court believes one is possible and that one should be made; and 2) the Sisters had been charged with very heavy fines in district court because they were not cooperating with the HHS Mandate to provide health insurance with free contraception, and the Supreme Court vacated all those decisions, effectively wiping out all the fines and penalties.
• The decision was unanimous. There was no disagreement indicated among the eight justices.
• Remarkably, President Obama came out the day after the decision with a statement applauding the decision as a victory for religious freedom, and the President said that there is no need for the Sisters and other religious groups to be required to pay for plans with free contraception, because employees can get free contraception in other ways.
• As Movsesian notes, it is odd that the President should take that position after his HHS has insisted for five years of litigation that employees have no other options for affordable contraception and that making the Sisters pay for it is necessary. It almost looks as if the administration's objective all along was not ensuring free contraception (which they now admit is already available in other ways) but overpowering religious objections to being forced to participate - a test of whether the government can get away with compelling religious groups to act against their beliefs if it wants to. Thankfully, the answer again is no.

Freedom Is Impossible Without Limitations (Chesterton)

You can check the tag Sunday Salt for a compilation of reflections and wisdom posted to this blog from significant Christians of past centuries.

G.K. Chesterton was unquestionably one of the most brilliant men of the 20th century, a fact even his ideological opponents like George Bernard Shaw insisted upon. One of the most precious things about his mind was his ability to see paradox (two things that appear to contradict each other, but actually don't) as a window onto truth. He was able to reveal how our understanding of reality and truth is often hindered by simplistic assumptions. And he often demonstrated how the objections of even the most sophisticated and educated people to Christianity were a result of such simplistic assumptions. This is one example of how he demonstrates that true freedom actually requires some limitations - some definition - in order to be able to go along freely.

Moderns ... imagine that romance would exist most perfectly in a complete state of what they call liberty. They think that if a man makes a gesture it would be a startling and romantic matter that the sun should fall from the sky.

But the startling and romantic thing about the sun is that it does not fall from the sky. They are seeking under every shape and form a world where there are no limitations -- that is, a world where there are no outlines; that is, a world where there are no shapes. There is nothing baser than that infinity. They say they wish to be as strong as the universe, but they really wish the whole universe as weak as themselves. Chesterton, Heretics (1905).

Take just one example from real life. Many people imagine that the idea of romance necessarily suggests the complete liberty to follow your emotions for another person wherever they lead, and never to restrain them. But it is surely true that the more romantic thing is for love to last, to stay true to another person and to be constant and unbreakable through every test and trial. The most romantic love is one that does not permit itself to change. The least romantic thing of all is for a person's professions of love for you to simply vanish tomorrow or the next day because a new feeling has swept them away in a different direction. Being unstable and constantly carried along by every impulse is not the same thing as being free.

Openly Confessing Our Sins As a Church: The Culture of Hypocrisy

This is my confession of sin on behalf of the Church. It needs some context: the latest scandal surrounding Josh Duggar and website Ashley Madison has some outspoken Christian speakers and bloggers eating their words and issuing confessions that they were too quick to support him and assume he had changed. Blogger Matt Walsh admitted on Facebook he was too easy on Josh Duggar at first and gave too much credit to Duggar's supposed repentance. Then Walsh made an important point:

"I was too easy on the the Duggar parents as well. Jim Bob and Michelle knew that their oldest son was struggling with severe sexual sin, they knew their daughters had been abused, they knew their family was in the midst of moral and spiritual turmoil, yet they STILL decided to put themselves and their children on TV for ten years."

He's right: it is insanity to put your family on display when they are privately struggling with such trauma and sin. But we need to go much farther than that. The whole Church has a confession to make. Here it is: we have created this environment, and we keep recreating it. No, I am not talking about the environment where sexual abuse and adultery happen. That happens in all environments, in all types of homes, all around the world. It is estimated that there were 32 million accounts on Ashley Madison that hackers accessed in their data breach. That means people from all backgrounds, regions, religions, social standing, etc. are among those caught up in the deceitful enticements of adultery. No, the environment I am talking about is the one where people don't deal with their personal failings and sins because they feel they can't get help without exposing themselves as frauds. It's not just the Duggars putting their family on display on television. It's all of us feeling like we have to display our good Christian conduct in front of the world and in front of other Christians.

We are so busy trying to convince the people around us that we are genuine Christians that we end up becoming hypocrites instead. When we bury our sins and try to pretend they don't exist so that we can look like we are living holy lives, we don't achieve holiness and we don't persuade others about Christianity. Instead, we become hypocrites who say they have no sin when in fact we are keeping plenty of sin locked up in the closet. But we worry far too much as a Church that if people see us and can see all our sins openly admitted, they won't think we're any different and won't believe that Christ really is at work in our lives. So we try to give the appearance of a community of good, moral, upstanding people who do our best to look like Jesus and follow His commands. The result is that none of us feel safe admitting we can't keep up the display.

We have created an environment where it is not safe to admit you are losing your own fight for purity or integrity. That is our fault, and it is to our shame. We need to repent as a Church of letting the assumption that being a Christian means you don't have any vulgar sins in your life surround us like an atmosphere. That is an atmosphere of death that suffocates genuine Christian faith. It is a poisonous gas that attacks the Gospel. It sends the message that your good moral behavior is more important than sincere faith in Christ and a desire to submit your life to Him. And it is exactly the atmosphere that leads people like Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar to put their whole family on display on television even while there is horrible and traumatic sexual sin being hidden behind closed doors.

When you send the message to your children that they have to appear a certain way in order to show the world that they're Christians, you send the message that appearances are more important than truth. That's the root of hypocrisy. Hypocrisy thrives on thinking what's expected of you is showing the right face and the right public behavior to other people, no matter what's happening inside you. It creates a dual life where who you really are in private doesn't match what you say in public, and soon you don't really believe what you say in public at all. At least, you sure don't live like it. That is exactly what Jesus rebuked in the lives of the Pharisees:

"Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, 'The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses' seat, so do and observe whatever they tell you, but not the works they do. For they preach, but do not practice.'" (Matthew 23:1-3 ESV)"They do all their deeds to be seen by others. For they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long, and they love the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues[.]" (Matthew 23:5-6 ESV)“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean." (Matthew 23:25-26 ESV)“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness." (Matthew 23:27-28 ESV)

The warped impression that you have to make your public life look good in order to be a good Christian didn't just affect the Duggar kids, either. I am sure it affected the parents and their decisions too. In fairness, they probably thought they were doing something good for the Church by putting their family on television. They probably wanted to promote the faith that had been a blessing in their lives and show the good things about Christianity that they were thankful to be a part of. They probably thought it would serve the Church. I am making some inferences here, but my experience has been that people rarely have wholly vain or self-absorbed motives for doing things like what the Duggars did. It's not like being on Big Brother or Survivor. Their mission was to show off a Christian family. But they had the tragic idea that they needed to do that publicly even when their kids were falling apart and deeply wounded in private. They probably thought it would be unfaithful to the Church for them to turn the opportunity down.

We have to reckon with our sins as a Church and dismantle the church culture that makes people think they need to do this. We have to renounce the implied expectation that even when you are failing privately, you must show good Christian character and speak confident Christian truth publicly. If we care about authentic faith, then it must be okay within the Church for a person to say: "My life is a wreck. I don't think I should put on the appearance of a 'good Christian kid.' I need help, and I need people to respond to my wounds and guilt instead of expecting me to respond to their expectations."

The Church as a whole has to agree together that it is okay to be honest about our failures and our sins. We must agree that we are not Jesus. It is not our job to look like Jesus. That is impossible. Our mission is to begin to become like Jesus, but at the same time learn the humility to admit we are only 10% like Jesus and still 90% corrupt and broken and double-minded and tempted by sinful desires. We must value sincerity over a good appearance. Until we do that, we will not produce Christian community. We will produce a culture of hypocrites instead.

Independence from the State Day - What Christians Should Know About Their Religious Freedom

Among the responses I have seen in Christian journals and websites in the past week, one of the most encouraging has been the open admission and acceptance that Christians can no longer pretend the United States of America is our home. This actually has very little to do with a Supreme Court decision; we should have remembered this all along. But amidst the cries of despair and the cries of outrage, and the debates over how to fight back or whether to accept and move on, Christians are being reminded that the health of the Church is not synonymous with the health of the State. As Thomas Kidd wrote: "Perhaps the best thing that can come out of the gay marriage decision is for the church to make a final break between our faith and our nation."

The United State has been a good host country for Christians in many ways. We have been given a great deal of freedom that Christians in other countries have not received. In many ways, the United States has set an example for the rest of the world of what true religious freedom should look like. In fact, the United States was arguably the first nation on earth to practice genuine religious freedom, envisioned primarily by James Madison, George Mason, and Thomas Jefferson (discussed halfway through this interview with historian and professor Daniel Dreisbach). Before the founding of the United States, other countries, at the best of times, had only exhibited a kind of "religious tolerance" that permitted those who were not of the official state religion to practice their beliefs without being forced to convert.

But the United States set a standard in two important ways: 1) in insisting that there would be no official state religion or church, requiring no one to be part of any particular religion to be eligible for government office; and 2) even more importantly, putting forward and practicing the conviction that every human has an inalienable and basic right to freely practice his religious beliefs - a right that is so central to human existence and identity that the state may not interfere with it. In other words, we established the conviction that a person's worship and obedience to God was so important and natural that the state had no authority to even govern or regulate it. The conscience and private convictions of the individual were above the authority of the state. This represented a sphere of human thought and conscience that the state had no legitimate right to invade. The claim of God upon the conscience of an individual overrules the right of the state to claim authority over the individual.

This idea of religious liberty, as an aspect of human existence immune from government interference by natural right, is described here by law professor Michael Paulsen:

So understood, it is not a right that human authorities confer on those whom they rule – a dispensation. That would be, subtly and ironically, inconsistent with the very liberty the State purports to confer. It would be an assertion, at some level, of the priority and supremacy of the State and not God: the State, in its beneficence, grants the exercise of religion – the strivings of individuals and groups to discern and fulfill their duties to God, in good faith, as they understand them – a certain amount of leeway. But the nature and extent of such freedom is, on such a view, ultimately for the State to judge.

The state-conferred-dispensation view, which I think is the dominant view today, is not really religious liberty, in the sense of freedom of religious exercise from ultimate State control. It is a cipher, or shadow, or parody of religious liberty. At bottom, what justifies religious liberty – the only thing that makes it at all sensible as a liberty distinct from other liberties – is some shared sense that true religious obligation is more important than civil obligation and that, consequently, civil society must recognize this truth. Religious liberty is the legal duty of civil society to defer to the plausibly true free exercise of genuine religious faith.

That is the only conception that can fully justify the idea of constitutional protection of “free exercise” of religion – protection of freedom of religious conduct in opposition to the State's typical commands. The same premises support a related aspect of religious freedom (embodied in the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment): Because God's commands, rightly perceived, trump the State's commands, it makes no sense to say that the State can determine what God's commands are and whether an individual or group has rightly perceived them. The State may not in this respect, or any other, set itself up as the arbiter of religious truth and enforce its determinations as law. The State is presumptively incompetent authoritatively to determine what God does or does not command. At least, that must be the operating premise if the right of religious freedom is not to be a chimera.

Christians, this is the concept of religious freedom that we believe in and have been fighting to protect. As things unfold in the months and years to come, let us remember that this is where we want to be in a democratic nation. Paulsen notes that this pure idea of religious freedom - of the superiority of God's claims upon the conscience to any claims made by the state - is not the dominant view today. Yet it is still a strong view that has powerful legal support. Only three years ago, every justice of the Supreme Court - the same justices now sitting - voted unanimously to uphold this view that the state has no authority or competence to judge the sincerity and validity of religious belief. (PDF here)

So there is no reason whatsoever to give up on the ideal of religious freedom in the United States. The voices that have been raised lately, even in major news publications, to call for increased restriction of Christian belief and practice are a bit hysterical and unrealistic. They do not represent the settled convictions of many justices and judges, let alone the citizens of the nation. We have every reason to stand firm in insisting on true religious freedom. But as people push back against us and rattle their sabers, let's not let that heritage and privilege become our security and resting place. We don't need religious freedom to be secure in Christ. No change to the laws of this country can take away our home or our identity.

The most important thing we can do today as a Church is to pay attention to fixing our identity in our citizenship in the Church. The United States will never be, even at its best and most noble, more than a convenient host country where the Lord has placed us to serve as ambassadors. We should strive to be the best kind of citizens and to seek the good of this country that hosts us, but we don't seek its identity. We remember that we "desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city." Therefore, we acknowledge and embrace joyfully that we will always be "strangers and exiles on the earth." (Hebrews 11:13-16). Don't forget where home is.

Rod Dreher sums this up well, acknowledging the resistance and hostility we are going to have to fight through: "Conditions are about to get much worse for us. We must reflect soberly on this fact, and act wisely, but decisively. Just over a decade ago, Robert Louis Wilken, writing in First Things, said that the greatest danger facing the Church is forgetfulness. That is, in our post-Christian culture, we are rapidly losing memory of what it means to be a faithful Christian. 'Nothing is more needful today than the survival of Christian culture, because in recent generations this culture has become dangerously thin,' he wrote. 'At this moment in the Church's history in this country (and in the West more generally) it is less urgent to convince the alternative culture in which we live of the truth of Christ than it is for the Church to tell itself its own story and to nurture its own life.'"

Take courage, dear friends, and first and foremost, seek the good and the strengthening of our true kingdom.

Take the Adventure God Has Appointed For You

The world is changing in ways we find unimaginable. Things seem out of control and beyond reason. And many Christians are very uncertain about what place we’re going to have in society as these changes develop.

Yet these words could have been written of almost any century in which the Church has existed. In fact, the Church has endured so many cultural shifts and waves of hostility over the years that we ought to look at the latest one as just another hurricane making landfall. God has given us an example of how to respond to this: “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.” (1 Peter 4:12-14)

Russell Moore set a perfect example of this conviction and steadfastness on Friday in The Washington Post:

“Some Christians will be tempted to anger, lashing out at the world around us with a narrative of decline. That temptation is wrong. God decided when we would be born, and when we would be born again. We have the Spirit and the gospel. To think that we deserve to live in different times is to tell God that we deserve a better mission field than the one he has given us. Let’s joyfully march to Zion.

“The witness to marriage will be, like the pro-life movement, a long-term strategy that is multi-pronged. This is no time for fear or outrage or politicizing. We see that we are strangers and exiles in American culture. We are on the wrong side of history, just like we started. We should have been all along.

“Let’s seek the kingdom. Let’s stand with the gospel. Let’s fear our God. But let’s not fear our mission field.”

This is what the Lord has prepared us for. We didn’t expect it, but He did. Our mission is still the same. As C.S. Lewis wrote, we must take the adventure Aslan sends to us. (The Last Battle). When the path of the kingdom goes around twists and turns and even through impassable labyrinths of razor-sharp rocks, we don’t give up and turn back. If God is laying out the path, we have no excuse not to follow it.

Consider this: where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more. Yes, our society and culture are changing (and have been changing for some time) in ways that are unrecognizable. But something else is coming too. We are about to see God act in ways you have never seen Him act before. You have never seen a culture like this. But you have also never seen God acting in power in the midst of a culture like this. You’re about to see something new. We don’t welcome the sin just so we can see the displays of grace, but we are comforted and encouraged that when sin does come, the outpouring of grace is inevitable.

We have a choice about what kind of believers to be. We can spend our time sitting in dismay as we look helplessly at the things happening around us – which is nothing but a prescription for perpetual depression - or we can be eager to see what God is about to do and to play our parts in it. The idea that a cultural change like this can defeat the Lord’s gracious work of salvation is absurd. So don’t let it quietly creep around in your mind under the disguises of discouragement or helplessness. Take the adventure God is handing you today and watch to see what the Lord will do.

The Invincible, Unfailing Source of Courage

I know that there are a lot of reasons that Christians are feeling anxiety and intimidation about what the future holds in the United States after yesterday's ruling on same-sex marriage. As a lawyer myself, I am well aware of the types of concerns that people are worrying about. Some are worrying about what may happen to their jobs. Some are anxious about what's going to happen to the culture and the school system their children grow up within. Some are worried about what may be required of them as members of the clergy regarding marriage ceremonies. Some are simply anxious and dismayed because things are changing so radically around us.

I am confident that many of these concerns will not actually be something we have to worry about. Hopefully I will have the chance in the days ahead to talk about some of those things specifically. But above all, the most important thing that I can say is that no matter what the future might hold, we have no reason to be anxious or afraid. This is not an all or nothing moment in the culture. The fact that the laws have changed radically on one issue and we find ourselves very much on the outside does not actually pose any new threat or risk to Christianity or to the Church. The Church has always been in tension with the culture, and in fact has often been most powerfully and clearly the Church of God when the tension has been very clear. God is not checkmated. No matter how laws may shift or governments may act, nothing surprises Him or intimidates Him. The fierceness of whole nations and the plotting of whole cultures is nothing to Him. Legal changes cannot hinder the Gospel. The Gospel will still advance. It simply may take some different routes now since the landscape has shifted.

Our biggest problem is not how we will solve these problems or how we will win over the culture. God will give the right results if we remain faithful and live the kind of lives He has called us to live. Our biggest problem is that we are afraid and anxious even though God is firmly in control and unmoved. We need to shed that fear. No matter how things may look as the years ahead unfold, there is no reason for us to fear whatever it may be. And the solution is the same as it has always been, as the early church discovered:

"23 When they were released, they went to their friends and reported what the chief priests and the elders had said to them. 24 And when they heard it, they lifted their voices together to God and said, “Sovereign Lord, who made the heaven and the earth and the sea and everything in them, 25 who through the mouth of our father David, your servant, said by the Holy Spirit,

“‘Why did the Gentiles rage,

and the peoples plot in vain?

26                  The kings of the earth set themselves,

and the rulers were gathered together,

against the Lord and against his Anointed’ —

27 for truly in this city there were gathered together against your holy servant Jesus, whom you anointed, both Herod and Pontius Pilate, along with the Gentiles and the peoples of Israel, 28 to do whatever your hand and your plan had predestined to take place. 29 And now, Lord, look upon their threats and grant to your servants to continue to speak your word with all boldness, 30 while you stretch out your hand to heal, and signs and wonders are performed through the name of your holy servant Jesus.” 31 And when they had prayed, the place in which they were gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak the word of God with boldness." (Acts 4:23-31)

The response to hostile government and opposition is simply to put the matter before God in prayer and ask Him to give us the courage and boldness to be steadfast and defy intimidation. What makes you brave is that you trust God to put a spirit of bravery in you. It's easy to be intimidated or anxious when you forget that there is a spirit within you that is more than a match for everything you have to face. As Paul exhorted Timothy, remind yourself that "God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." (2 Timothy 1:7).

Notice also that Acts 4:31 says they were "all filled with the Holy Spirit" and boldness. It was not only the apostles or the leading members who received boldness. It was everyone - thousands of people. The most untrained and timid among them was still filled with the courage of God. That's your source of courage.

For another great example of invincible courage, here is how Martin Luther displayed peace of mind in the midst of vicious opposition. His peaceful indifference to the dangers and challenges around him, grounded entirely in his rock-solid confidence in the Lord's power and authority, always wakes me up to how fretful and pointless my own fears can be. Fretting when God is not at all disturbed is simply wasting the energy He gave us to accomplish good.

No Reason to Despair, and Nothing to Fear - Thoughts on Today's Marriage Ruling at Supreme Court

Today's United States Supreme Court ruling in Obergefell v. Hodges (PDF copy at the link) means same-sex marriage unions must now be recognized and allowed by all 50 states. This post is for my friends who are discouraged by today's decision. I know there are Christian brothers and sisters who don't disagree with this ruling and who feel strongly about it. For them, today is probably not a day of mourning, but right now I want to spend time with those who mourn. I think we have many, many reasons to be encouraged, so take heart.

Mourning for the Right Reasons

First, we should mourn. Mourning is the proper emotion to feel when we see people celebrating things that are harmful to themselves. When we see people embracing what the church has always warned us against, we should mourn for the state of society and for the sake of their souls. This was exactly Paul's response: "It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father's wife. And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn?" (1 Corinthians 5:1-2).

What we should not do is surrender to self-pity. There is a crucial difference between mourning for the people who are chasing after emptiness by embracing same-sex marriage and simply feeling sorry for ourselves. This is not a time to despair or to surrender to the wave of depressing emotions that come along with any event that makes us feel overwhelmed and powerless. Tolkien put it beautifully in the mouth of Gandalf: "despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt." (The Lord of the Rings). We must not despair just because things turn out to be much harder than we hoped. Our confidence is not in courts or governments or cultures or civilizations. The society we have citizenship in is the kingdom of heaven, and the growth of that kingdom is not measured by things like this court decision. Focus on the souls of people, not on the shifting sands of culture.

Second, we should reject all anger and bitterness and resentment. Those are emotions born from self-pity or self-righteousness. Either they come from feeling wounded pride at being rejected and being left out, or they come from being indignant and self-righteous about the sins of others. Christian, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. There are a number of people in conservative political circles who will be venting about this decision and stirring up anger. Resolve not to listen to them. Turn off the television and the radio. Do not read what they post online. Guard your heart and mind against anyone who is spreading these emotions in the air. Give it a week before you even consider tuning in again (if you do at all). These things do not build us up in Christ.

As I was composing this earlier, I had the chance to read Russell Moore's commentary in The Washington Post. Read it. He is wise, peaceful, courageous, and practical, rather than angry.

Don't Let Love Lose

There will be many people celebrating same-sex marriages and this ruling with the phrase "Love Wins!" I fear that the reflex of many Christians will be to distance themselves so much from those who welcomed this decision that they will actually let their love grow cold. This is not a time to be uncertain about how to approach or communicate with those who embrace same-sex marriage or homosexual relationships. You do not need to agree with them to love them! Love is not dependent on agreement. This is the time to make sure that we put the love of Christ on display as purely and powerfully as ever.

Many people who have advocated for same-sex marriage will be expecting us to be bitter and hostile. They will be expecting us to entrench ourselves against them or fight back. They have been told for a long time that the opposition of Christians to same-sex marriage is based on hate and prejudice. Prove them wrong. Spend as much time getting to know them and showing them the love of Christ as you can. Don't shrink back from this because you don't know how to talk to them about this. There are many very wise and helpful resources that have been written on how to show love to someone you disagree with, including those you disagree with about homosexual behavior. Start here with The Gospel Coalition website and keep on searching there and on Desiring God and Russell Moore's blog. Get prepared to interact with people in love.

Above all, don't let the state of the civil law be a stumbling block to loving people. We are not responsible for policing people's behavior. That has never been the mission of the Church. Paul actually told us we have nothing to do with judging the moral behavior of unbelievers. (1 Cor. 5:9-13).We are supposed to preach the Gospel to all. That means you are off the hook for feeling like you have to prevent any same-sex wedding or marriage. Yes, we want to warn people against these things, and part of preaching the Gospel includes helping people become conscious of sin and how they have fallen short of the glory of God. But that is different than trying to hold them to a standard of behavior and enforce it on them. Granted, Paul makes a distinction between how we treat moral commands with those inside the Church compared with how we deal with unbelievers. But for now, consider that it is not your burden to stop people who don't believe the Scriptures from embracing same-sex marriage. It is only your responsibility to preach the love of Christ to them. Focus on that.

If you had a friend who was getting divorced for sinful reasons, you would certainly do everything you could to plead with her and reason with her not to go through with it. But even if you could sue to stop the divorce (which you can't), I doubt you would. That would change your relationship from being a friend to being an opponent. It would cross a line. The same with a friend getting re-married after an unbiblical divorce. You might not attend the marriage. But I doubt you would try to legally block it even if you could. Consider what that means for how you interact with friends embracing same-sex marriage. Your role as a Christian and friend is to show the Gospel and demonstrate love. And do it with perseverance and prayer and earnestness. But you don't have to change the law or panic if they go through with the ceremony. Loving people who are deceived by sin often does not result in their turning away from sin immediately. We have to be patient and persevere in love, showing our commitment to their good. The results are up to God. Be encouraged that His Spirit is at work, and that is what ultimately changes people's hearts. The state of the law can only hold things back for a time. The heart is where people get saved.

Five Crucial Aspects of a Healthy Marriage

In preparation for a friend's bridal shower, my wife asked me the other day what my top three tips for a good marriage were. This is what our discussion produced, and after ten years of marriage I feel strongly that these have been some of the most important factors in the strength or our marriage. Sadly, you won't hear most of these in the average pre-marital counseling session. Let's change that by spreading good advice far and wide.

As a preface, it will be clear that these practices are all based on following Christ and believing in the Living God. That's because I know I couldn't have the marriage I have today without focusing on God and pursuing my relationship with Him. Much of the pain, struggling, and broken dreams we experience in life comes from trying to do things our way, on our own, without giving ourselves up to God and following His wisdom. (A good example of Matthew 7:24-27 in action.)

1. Make sure you both are in some sort of small group or Bible study that meets regularly, in which you each have people you can confide in and pray with. There should be at least one person of the same sex in your life and one in your spouse's life who you can each tell anything and everything to and who you don't hold anything back from. You each need someone you can confess your struggles and your sins to who will keep you accountable and who will pray for you.

2. Pray together with your spouse and read the Bible together. Talk about what you are reading together. If you just pray and read and grow in your knowledge of God separately, you are not building your marriage on a common relationship with God and a mutual dependence on God. It is amazing how many problems in marriage are reduced or solved by talking to God together and confessing your weaknesses and struggles together. You learn to trust Him together and to encourage each other in faith, and you learn to deal with disagreements and problems by talking about Scripture and by praying together instead of just hashing it out.

3. Resolve to forgive each other for anything and everything, just as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32). Be committed to loving each other no matter what, the same way God is committed to loving you. Marriage is not designed to make you happy or fulfill all your expectations. Marriage is designed to help you know Christ more and experience God more deeply, because knowing Him is where you will find happiness and fulfillment. Marriage will reveal to you your own pride, weaknesses, sins, and destructive attitudes more deeply than just about anything else. Resolve to accept that this is God's gift to you to help you overcome your own faults and the things that keep you from experiencing satisfaction in Him. Love each other as you are and encourage each other in growing and changing. When you do, you will experience more joy and satisfaction in your marriage and appreciate how it brings you closer to God.

4. Closely related to #3, never, ever doubt that people can change and that all things are possible with God. No matter how difficult your disagreements may be or how you may disappoint each other, don't give up. Remember what Paul said about the power of God: He raises the dead. We can depend on Him to rescue the living from any despair. God expressly says that He has the power to change a person's heart. Even if it seems like you reach a point where you can't work together on something or one of you won't budge, put your faith and hope in God and trust that He can change feelings, expectations, or attitudes for either of you. I have experienced it firsthand in a number of "hopeless" situations, and I have seen it in other marriages too. "[W]ith God all things are possible." This is not a promise that you'll get everything you want; it's bigger than that. Sometimes the work of God is to show you that what you want or think you need really isn't as important as you thought it was, and that your happiness will come without it.

5. Be open and honest with each other about what you hope for and what hurts you in your marriage. A friend of ours recently said that a lot of pain in marriage comes from expectations that are not communicated to each other, and which therefore go unfulfilled. Don't keep your feelings and your needs private. Talk to each other about how you feel and trust each other with your dreams and hopes. Don't hold back because you don't think anything will change. Remember #4.

What are your thoughts? Please share your advice too in the comments.