Genuine Church Community vs. Atomization and Individualism in American Culture

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One of the most important priorities for the church right now is recovering genuine community. The health and effectiveness of church community for doing what the church is supposed to do has been severely weakened. Here are some examples and perspectives on this I have shared in the past from Rod Dreher and Carl Trueman and from Chris Martin (discussing Pew Research results on what Christians think is essential to spiritual life). It's why Mark Dever recently wrote a book devoted to community. Two major obstacles to forming Christian community are the trends of atomization and individualism. Here's an explanation of both:

Atomization refers to the trend of people disconnecting and living apart from one another and apart from the social and community groups they once regularly attended. It is a breakdown of connections and relationships on a community level, and some have noted it is particularly strong in America. Sociologist Robert Putnam drew attention to this phenomenon in 1995 in his essay "Bowling Alone" and captured the basic image: where people once used to seek regular community and do things together in groups, many people prefer now to do everything on their own terms. Putnam also identified some of the reasons this is harming America's social fabric, weakening both the productivity of the community and the ability of people to form relationships. He concluded it resulted in less civic engagement, and also in less trust between average people. Here's a longer explanation from a recent perspective.

Individualism describes the obsession of people in our day with living out their own unique, personal journey of self-discovery. It is characterized by an idea that the self-fulfillment and development of a person's individual identity is the supreme value. As a consequence, many people resist being influenced by groups and institutions that try to form common ideas in a community because they do not want to be shaped by something outside of themselves. If they join, they do so while standing apart and avoiding any adoption of group ideals unless it aligns with their personal identity. For instance, instead of letting church shape your thinking on God, you come to church convinced of your own personal take on spirituality and you only stay if the church seems to fit with that. Where American society used to be composed of many institutions of people coming together for common goals or values, which would form a united mindset and set of ideas among those people, today people often insist on figuring out who they are by looking within and by their own experiences rather than being taught or shaped by a community. Here is a useful discussion by Tim Keller and Russell Moore for more context.

Contrast this with the way Dietrich Bonhoeffer described the essential Christian community in his important work Life Together:

Not what a man is in himself as a Christian, his spirituality and piety, constitutes the basis of our community. What determines our brotherhood is what that man is by reason of Christ. Our community with one another consists solely in what Christ has done to both of us. This is true not merely at the beginning, as though in the course of time something else were to be added to our community; it remains so for all the future and to all eternity. I have community with others and I shall continue to have it only through Jesus Christ. The more genuine and the deeper our community becomes, the more will everything else between us recede, the more clearly and purely will Jesus Christ and his work become the one and only thing that is vital between us. We have one another only through Christ, but through Christ we do have one another, wholly, and for all eternity. (Life Together, p. 26).

Taking Bonhoeffer's observations, Christian community is not about what kind of spirituality or identity you or I bring to the mix. It is about what Christ has done for us, and what we are because of Christ. Identity is not something personally determined and established by us as individuals; it is something that derives from and depends on the work of Christ. We could say that the more we know Christ, the more He reveals to us our true identity. But Bonhoeffer emphasized that meeting Christ in private and learning to know him by ourselves is only half of the process. He explained that community is not optional for the Christian; it is essential to the way we are formed and the way God feeds us. We need one another to speak the Word of God to each other, to hear each other's confessions and cries for prayer, to minister forgiveness to one another, and to display to each other in the flesh the love that Christ has put into our hearts through His Spirit.

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Therefore knowing God requires humbling yourself to be shaped and taught by the community. You cannot come to Christian community and participate authentically while still insisting upon maintaining a personal identity not shaped or influenced by the community. One of Bonhoeffer's main points about Christian community is that it must be established by God. We do not have the option of taking or creating community on our own terms. All real Christian community is established by the Holy Spirit, not by our plans and expectations. "Christian brotherhood is not an ideal which we must realize; it is rather a reality created by God in Christ in which we may participate." (Id. p. 30)

That is why Bonhoeffer states: "He who loves his dream of a community more that the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial." (Id. p. 27). We cannot make the community to fit our expectations. We must receive it. This necessarily requires humbling ourselves, because we are not in control and we must accept what God creates. I will note that this is not to be confused with simply accepting anything we are given by other men and women, for if they are also engaged in setting up their own idea of community, it may be equally detrimental. But it also means we have no excuse to just stiff-arm what we receive from others in community solely because we don't happen to like it or prefer it.

So how do we tell the difference? One of the reasons Bonhoeffer's book Life Together is so engaging and powerful is that it gives us a detailed breakdown and discussion of the aspects of community that come necessarily from our being united through Christ. These are the things natural to a genuine Christian community, the basic vital signs of the spiritual life. Bonhoeffer shows why these things are necessary to our life in Christ and how they nourish and maintain it. If the dynamics of your Christian community fulfill these purposes and serve to bring people closer to God and closer together in Christ, then they may be just what we need. That does not mean they will always be comfortable. Detecting the difference between the two - community created by God versus community dictated by other people - may take careful discernment. But either way, there is no question that the real community must be received. We cannot set the terms.

Instead, we love people the way the Scriptures teach, and we accept them for Christ's sake, and then we take the community that God develops out of that. Bonhoeffer gives us a peaceful picture of what kind of growth in grace and joy is available to us if we will humble ourselves and just receive what God is giving. Consider how liberating and relieving it is to not be ruled by a pressure to fix and tinker with the community in every place where it isn't developing according to your expectations. Simply receiving is a gracious privilege:

Christian community is like the Christian's sanctification. It is a gift of God which we cannot claim. Only God knows the real state of our fellowship, of our sanctification. What may appear weak and trifling to us may be great and glorious to God. Just as the Christian should not be constantly feeling his spiritual pulse, so, too, the Christian community has not been given to us by God for us to be constantly taking its temperature. The more thankfully we daily receive what is given to us, the more surely and steadily will fellowship increase and grow from day to day as God pleases.

(Life Together, p. 30)

Forgiveness Is Free; Sincerity and Repentance May Take Some Work

Easter should leave us all with fresh enthusiasm for the freedom from guilt and shame that Christ paid for on the cross. I hope the last few days have been filled for you with hearing the free grace of God preached and proclaimed. The forgiveness of sins through faith in Christ, and not through trying to work off a debt or earn acceptance, is one of the greatest joys we will ever know.

However, when anyone preaches the free grace of God that removes all the guilt of your sins, sooner or later people get nervous and uncomfortable with this lavish, free forgiveness of every wrong. If forgiveness is that easy, then what will keep us from giving into temptations when they come up again? Some people start to think this is too simple to be true: that people could just take advantage of God and keep indulging whatever desires they wanted if this were so. Just run back to God afterward to say “I’m sorry,” and you’re in the clear. Some people mock Christianity for this very reason, thinking it is too shallow and naïve for letting people get right with God by just apologizing after they do wrong. This also convinces some Christians that it can’t be that easy, that there must be more required of us in order to prove our real regret and repentance to God.

But it’s not as simple as it appears. Forgiveness is free to everyone who confesses what they have done wrong and wants to be healed. But if you do not have a heart that is sorry for doing wrong, forgiveness is absolutely unaffordable. It is completely out of your price range if you aren’t sincere in repenting of sin. There’s no way for you to purchase it. What people miss when they mock the free grace of God in forgiving sins, or when they doubt it and try to earn forgiveness instead, is that God judges the thoughts and intentions of the heart. He knows whether you mean it. He doesn’t need proof. He doesn’t weigh your efforts to earn forgiveness, but He does weigh the sincerity of your regret and desire to change.

The new covenant Christ brought about by His death and resurrection has been called the “covenant of grace,” compared with the "covenant of works" that required perfect obedience under the Mosaic law. Richard Sibbes describes the new measure of obedience: “The law is sweetened by the gospel, and becomes delightful to the inner man (Rom. 7:22). Under this gracious covenant, sincerity is perfection.” (The Bruised Reed, Ch. 6). God established a new covenant for exactly this reason: no one was capable of keeping the law without sin. But God does give us the ability to choose sides with Him against sin, and to renounce our sinful actions. The new covenant only requires that we sincerely turn away from sin.

 

The words used for repentance in Scripture contain the idea of turning away from one thing to embrace another. We turn from sin to God. We turn from evil to good. Kevin DeYoung described it like this: "Some of us become Christians and just go on our merry way, never thinking of sin, while others fixate on our failings and suffer from despair. One person feels no conviction of sin; the other person feels no relief from sin. Neither of these habits should mark the Christian. The Christian should often feel conviction, confess, and be cleansed." Or as DeYoung says more simply: "Repentance is more than a repeated apology." It must be a change of heart.

Luther’s first statement in the 95 Theses is: “When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said, ‘Repent’ (Mt 4:17), he willed the entire life of believers to be one of repentance.”

 

A life of repentance doesn’t have to look impressive outwardly to be sincere. Expecting people to give something up or do something difficult to prove their sincerity doesn’t guarantee sincerity. Yes, if you are sincere and really want forgiveness, you will probably be willing to make sacrifices to receive it. But insincere people are often just as likely to do this. This is exactly what the Pharisees and scribes did, and what Jesus rebuked them for doing. They had figured out that if they made all the right motions of worship, they could get a reputation for holiness and obedience without actually having to live by it. But it gave them no traction before God.

 

If you just go before God seeking forgiveness because you want Him to pay off your tab so you can go sin again without consequences, well, Jesus predicted rather terrifying things for those who thought this was working for them: “You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said: ‘This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’” (Matthew 15:7-9)

 

This kind of insincere, two-faced worship is utterly rejected by God. No one sneaks a free pass on sin by just saying, “I’m sorry.” There is no way to cheat on this. Those who think the free grace of God is too simplistic misunderstand the importance of the heart. God is not after people who can make a good show of religious devotion. He is after people’s hearts.

 

The reason I say sincerity and repentance may take some work is that they don’t always come naturally after failing. Sometimes it is very hard to be ready to approach God with genuine sorrow over sin. All the wrestling and lamenting and self-reproach of so many remarkable Christians, from John Owen, Richard Baxter, John Bunyan, Richard Sibbes, John Newton, Charles Simeon, Charles Spurgeon, and J.C. Ryle to John Piper, Kevin DeYoung, Tim Keller, Jerry Bridges, and J.I. Packer is simply this: pursuing sincerity in repentance; working the heart toward devotion to God and away from the coldness and selfishness of sin. Not a bit of it is meant to earn forgiveness or prove ourselves. It is all directed at being genuine in heart and sincere in our affections for God.

As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. (2 Corinthians 7:9-10)

But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. (Luke 18:13-14)

This is the Gospel. Don't let anyone talk you out of it. Sometimes this may cost us much in tears, the dismantling of pride and self-admiration, admitting our faults, humbling ourselves to apologize to others, and destroying the illusions of our own goodness. But it has this precious difference between it and the futile pursuit of earning forgiveness: this working of the heart into repentance is accepted by God even at its most feeble, as long as it is genuine. You don’t have to try to work up a pure heart to be accepted. Those who truly desire to change, even if they are powerless to make any progress, are accepted by God, and then He provides the power for change Himself.

 

But it is the grace of the Gospel, which is so hard for the pious to understand, that it confronts us with the truth and says: You are a sinner, a great, desperate sinner; now come, as the sinner that you are, to God who loves you. He wants you as you are; He does not want anything from you, a sacrifice, a work; He wants you alone. 'My son, give me thine heart' (Prov. 23:26). God has come to you to save the sinner. Be glad!

(Bonhoeffer, Life Together, p. 110, HarperOne edition, 1954).

 

Jesus is a greater Saviour than you think him to be when your thoughts are at the greatest. My Lord is more ready to pardon than you to sin, more able to forgive than you to transgress. My Master is more willing to supply your wants than you are to confess them. Never tolerate low thoughts of my Lord Jesus.

(Charles Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, August 22).

The Point of Confessing Sins - That You May Be Healed

I don't mean to imply by any previous posts that confessing sin in a loving community is easy. A loving Christian community must carefully strive for a delicate balance: making their fellowship a safe and supportive place to admit to sins and weaknesses, but also a fellowship that is committed to overcoming those weaknesses instead of just patting people on the back and saying: "It's okay." Bonhoeffer gave a tremendously encouraging picture of a supportive, loving community in his book Life Together. But Bonhoeffer was also quite clear: we don’t simply get sin out in the open so we can shed our guilt and say: “Whew, I’m glad I got that off my chest.” Confessing the sin and bringing it into the light is meant to remove the guilt, but it removes it by embracing the connection to God that we have through the Gospel – the glorious truth that Jesus bore our sins and already took the punishment, purchasing forgiveness and acceptance for us instead.

This connection, however, requires that we not only confess sin but repent of it. We can't settle for the same old habits. The freedom of forgiveness necessarily involves agreeing with the one we have wronged that what we did was wrong, and we don't want to do the same thing again. We want to be restored into a trusting relationship with whomever we had to seek forgiveness from, and not jeopardize that intimacy and trust again with another offense. This is just as true about our relationship to God as it is of our human relationships. Bonhoeffer's explanation of the loving Christian community's role in confronting sin is all about being restored to right relationship together, living in harmony and openness with no insincerity or deceit.

The great joy that we are promised upon confessing our sins is that we will be healed. Not just unburdened, but fixed. Mended. Restored. "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." (James 5:16 ESV). Sin brings sorrow. Being aware of sin and unable to confess it brings shame and grief. Confessing sin liberates the soul; but unless the patterns of thought and desire and habit that led to the sin are corrected and changed, more sorrow and shame are on the way. A loving community will do its best to help everyone escape that cycle of shame.

The searching of our own hearts for the crooked ideas, selfish thoughts, pride, and old habits that lead us into sin is often called "heart work" because what needs fixing is not our behavior, but our hearts. As Jesus said, out of the heart come all the evil desires and immoral things of mankind. (Mark 7:17-23). Examining our weaknesses is a very uncomfortable activity. Charles Spurgeon describes our reluctance very well:

Humankind will attend to the most multiplied and minute ceremonial regulations – for such things are pleasing to the flesh - but true religion is too humbling, too heart-searching, too thorough for the tastes of carnal men; they prefer something more ostentatious, flimsy, and worldly. Outward observances are temporarily comfortable; the eye and ear are pleased; self-conceit is fed, and self-righteousness is puffed up; but they are ultimately delusive, for in the article of death, and at the day of judgment, the soul needs something more substantial than ceremonies and rituals to lean upon. Apart from vital godliness all religion is utterly vain; offered without a sincere heart, every form of worship is a solemn sham and an impudent mockery of the majesty of heaven.  Charles Spurgeon, Morning and Evening, p. 706 (Dec. 18).

The expressed, acknowledged sin has lost all its power. - Bonhoeffer

Heart work is hard. The important thing is that it is worth it. More than that, it is necessary. What makes a thing desirable is not that it is easy or painless, but that it is worth the sacrifice. But it is nearly impossible without community, without the support of Christian fellowship and encouragement. When the Christian community embraces each other in gentleness and forgiveness, we are free to relate to each other sincerely and genuinely. Our ability to be in close friendship with each other and to feel the joy of worshiping God together is restored. This is a truly beautiful picture:

Since the confession of sin is made in the presence of a Christian brother, the last stronghold of self-justification is abandoned. The sinner surrenders; he gives up all his evil. He gives his heart to God, and he finds the forgiveness of all his sin in the fellowship of Jesus Christ and his brother. The expressed, acknowledged sin has lost all its power. It has been revealed and judged as sin. It can no longer tear the fellowship asunder. Now the fellowship bears the sin of the brother. He is no longer along with his evil for he has cast off his sin in confession and handed it over to God. It has been taken away from him. Now he stands in the fellowship of sinners who live by the grace of God in the Cross of Jesus Christ. Now he can be a sinner and still enjoy the grace of God. He can confess his sins and in this very act find fellowship for the first time. The sin concealed separated him from the fellowship, made all his apparent fellowship a sham; the sin confessed has helped him to find true fellowship with the brethren in Jesus Christ. - Bonhoeffer, Life Together, p. 112-13 (HarperOne edition, 1954). 

Authentic Church Culture Requires Openness about Sin - and Open Love

The solution to the culture of hypocrisy I addressed here is to have a church culture that emphasizes sincerity and a safe environment for openly confessing our sins and struggles to each other. Too many churches try to clean themselves up and put on a 'holy' face by discouraging any open discussion of struggling with sin. They may not realize consciously that they are doing so, but a church culture that tends to shun people who confess their struggles with sin, treating them as lesser Christians or 'unreliables,' simply discourages people from admitting when they have a problem. If the response to being made aware that someone is ensnared by sinful desires or has committed particular sins is an implied disappointment and shame that is shown by starting to treat that person differently (and usually less closely and affectionately), then people will naturally avoid admitting they have a problem. And that leads to hidden sinful habits and indulgences that go on under the surface, growing and taking deeper root while the churchgoer tries at the same time to keep up the appearance of godly living and Christian obedience to maintain friendships and acceptance.

This is exactly why hypocrisy is such a danger in churches like this. Anything that leads a person to keep part of his or her life hidden from others is putting that person at risk for becoming a hypocrite. Likewise, a church culture that makes people feel like they have to keep their flaws and weaknesses hidden in order to be accepted is a church culture that teaches people to prioritize the praise and recognition of other people over actual sincere relationship to God. Such churches train people to believe that they can only be welcomed and liked if they keep problems hidden. That is lethal. It ends up blowing up in their faces when beloved leaders or longtime members of the congregation are discovered to have carried on a hidden life of sin. And everyone is shocked. Because they found a sinner in their midst. Instead, they should be remorseful that they ever deceived themselves into thinking any of them were not sinners.

An authentic Christian church culture will always encourage people to confess their sins without fear of judgment or rejection. Although it is true that some sins and weaknesses may require that the church not place a person in a particular role of leadership or service, openness is encouraged by clearly demonstrating that acceptance and affection by the other members are not going to be jeopardized if a person confesses any type of sin. The important thing is proving by example that the relationships in the church will not be strained or lost if a person admits their own struggles and flaws. This kind of culture acknowledges that all of us are prone to weakness and vulnerable to certain sins, and refuses to treat the realities of sin and personal weakness as dirty little secrets to be kept in the closet. Instead, such a culture locks arms together in loving commitment to help each other fight these battles with temptation and sin. We commit to never shaming anyone, and to being ready and willing to hear anyone's confession and gladly help them pray for healing.

This kind of thing makes some people very uncomfortable, especially if they are used to the kind of church culture that pretends sin isn't among us and shames those who are caught in it. Of course it should not be the typical practice for people to confess their sins publicly in front of the whole congregation; there is some discretion involved in choosing the brother or sister to whom you confess. Even then, some people may resist hearing other people's confessions because it is something they aren't used to and it feels to them like a crisis point in a relationship. But once people see how liberating it is to be able to admit you are having problems without risking your friendships, and realize that the love of other people in the church is not going to be withdrawn even when the hidden sins are exposed, a person who is burdened by their sin will crave that kind of openness and freedom. It is as vital to spiritual life as air to the body. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote, in one of the most valuable books ever written on Christian community:

In confession the break-through to community takes place. Sin demands to have a man by himself. It withdraws him from the community. The more isolated a person is, the more destructive will be the power of sin over him, and the more deeply he becomes involved in it, the more disastrous is his isolation. Sin wants to remain unknown. It shuns the light. In the darkness of the unexpressed it poisons the whole being of a person. This can happen even in the midst of a pious community. In confession the light of the Gospel breaks into the darkness and seclusion of the heart. The sin must be brought into the light. The unexpressed must be openly spoken and acknowledged.

- Life Together, p. 112 (HarperOne edition, 1954).

It must be, because if it is not, then the grace of God that comes through experiencing the forgiveness and freedom of the Gospel is denied to the sinner. Bonhoeffer captures beautifully what this experience of Gospel freedom looks like in authentic community:

The fact is that we are sinners!

But it is the grace of the Gospel, which is so hard for the pious to understand, that it confronts us with the truth and says: You are a sinner, a great, desperate sinner; now come, as the sinner that you are, to God who loves you. He wants you as you are; He does not want anything from you, a sacrifice, a work; He wants you alone. 'My son, give me thine heart' (Prov. 23:26). God has come to you to save the sinner. Be glad! This message is liberation through truth. You can hide nothing from God. The mask you wear before men will do you no good before Him. He wants to see you as you are, He wants to be gracious to you. You do not have to go on lying to yourself and your brothers, as if you were without sin; you can dare to be a sinner. Thank God for that; He loves the sinner but He hates sin.

- Id., pp. 110-11.